Quite a weekend. Lost another soccer game (what a shock), I got carded for mouthing off to the referee and “politely” informing him of the error in not calling the elbow to the back of the head that I took. I also got called for, and I quote, “seriously foul play”. 1 word: awesome. I’m not 100% sure but I don’t remember there being a foul in the rule book titled “seriously foul play”, especially one that isn’t card worthy. But I digress, the referee has a height complex and apparently doesn’t like us very much cause our whole team is taller than him.
Michelle and I went shopping yesterday for some motorcycle gear to help keep me safe with my new adventures. Out of respect for the gay and female population we decided it would be best to fully coordinate my riding gear from head to toe in yellow and gray, which not so coincidentally matches my bike. As a side note I think my man card may have expired and it’s best I go renew that. Anyway, I’m now about as safe as you can be on a bike, with padding on all major exposed areas.
We got the crib assembled last weekend for the baby’s room. During that process I decided that Child Craft (makers of the crib) need to inquire from IKEA as to how to provide unassembled furniture to customers in such a way as to ensure repeat business. I had to drill 1 hole and widen out 5 other holes just to make the pieces fit per the instructions. Some of you doubters may think that I was just doing something wrong, I assure you, I consulted two other people prior to making said alterations who were all in agreement that I was correct. My friend Eric, who was assembling the changing table, had a similar panic attack when he completed the table and found that the drawer was 1/4 inch too narrow to fit in the tracks. A call to the company from my wife confirmed that this is not the first time they’ve had that trouble and some “washers” are on their way to “fix” the problem. I mean, seriously. I’ve assembled at least 6 different pieces of furniture from IKEA, people that come from a county known for their meatballs, not their particle board, and yet I’ve never had a problem with assembling their products. Not to mention that their furniture is 1/3 of the price of this stupid crib / changing table. Anyway, I’ve complained enough for the day so it’s time for me to go take a nap.
Another LONG weekend, or was it short, I can’t remember. Anyway, it was packed with things to do, mostly involving activities that have rendered my back into the chiropractic nightmare that it feels like this morning. Saturday was my belt promotion for Taekwondo. I’m now, officially, a yellow belt. What does this mean to the populous at large? Absolutely nothing, other than my $200 and 3 days a week of hell have helped me achieve a colored piece of cloth, oh, and that I can look down on the white belts when the teacher’s not looking.
Sunday was another soccer game, now come and gone. We lost, again, 5-3. To my credit I scored two of our three goals, the third being accounted to a fat defender on the other team who couldn’t get out of the way fast enough and knocked a ball into his own goal. One turn for the better was that the referee this week was drastically better than any we have ever had. A new wednesday night league starts up this week, so there’s one more opportunity for me to 1) get in better shape, 2) improve my skills, 3) hurt myself.
The fence is almost officially done. One gate left to be hung once the concrete cures and I’ll finally be finished. Then I can finally get the dogs out of the house instead of rushing to the door every time Jessie “small bladder” Jones feels like interrupting my episode of Bones.
The office has now officially been demoted to nursery status, with all of its contents moved to the bedroom on the far side of the house. It’s worth noting that my new desk location is SIGNIFICANTLY farther away from the beer in the fridge than it was previously. Don’t think that this hasn’t gone unnoticed and there will be a requisition request for an auxiliary fridge coming …
I leave you all, on this early Monday morning, with the following piece of humor from my favorite comic site.
So I wouldn’t say that this fulfilled a lifelong dream or anything, but I have a strong desire to continue to educate myself in an assortment of things. Currently on the list are:
- Learn to fly a plane
- Learn to sail
- Learn to operate a HAM radio
The list continues, but I think you get the idea. I’m just always looking to further my skill base. Over the last weekend I had an opportunity to do just that, I learned to ride a motorcycle. The state of Illinois is kind enough to use some of my tax dollars (of which they take quite a few) to sponsor a motorcycle safety program that allows residents to take a free* weekend long class on motorcycle operation and safety which meets the requirements for getting your motorcycle endorsement on your license.
I participated in said program at NIU. After 20 classroom and behind the … handlebar … hours of education, I completed the program. Out of the 12 students in the class, I was one of 5 who aced the written portion of the test. I also managed to score top honors on the ridden test and scored above everyone else (including many who had previous motorcycle experience). I missed only a single point in all of my testing and that was for taking a 135 degree turn 0.02 seconds slower than the “nominal” time. 0.02? So an instructor with a stopwatch looking at lines on the pavement as my bike crosses them docks me a point cause his stopwatch says I’m 0.02 seconds off? Well, needless to say I could bitch about this for a while since I’d love to say I aced the whole damn class, but I think it’s pretty self-explanatory that human-error alone can account for 0.02 seconds on the part of the timer.
Oh well. This weekend I’m off to look at getting a beginner bike so I can put my new skills to use and further my training. I have a few friends out here that ride so it would be nice to get a little riding in this summer before the baby gets here, just to see if I really like it or not. Mostly I just don’t want to kill myself 
Third time to Indianapolis for Memorial Weekend but my first race. Weather was near perfect, about 70 degrees with some cloud cover and a light breeze, which is better than rain and better than 85 and a beating sun. We managed to score some tickets from a friend of a friend of a cousin between the finish line and Turn 1 in the shade (under the grandstand upper level). It took me about 150 of the 200 laps to finally figure out who was in first place and which car belonged to which driver, but as soon as I figured it out the race became much more exciting.
It peaked when Danika Patrick got out of her black and blue Motorola car and marched her ass down Pit Row to pick a fight after her car was taken out of the race moments earlier by a moron leaving the Pit. Unfortunately for us (but fortunate for her) she was stopped along the way. I don’t know how big the guy was she was about to fight, but her stats in the program put her at 5′ 2″, 100 lbs. I’m pretty sure any teenager or older with a wrench could have put her down handily, but I would have watched with eager anticipation.
Aside from the race, I enjoyed the rest of the weekend at my cousins’ lake house catching Bass, drinking, playing cards, and burning stuff, mostly drinking and burning stuff. I’m not sure if I’d attend the race again, cause I may just stay at the lake house and drink … and burn stuff, instead. I’ve added a picture album on the Pictures page with some shots from the race. Enjoy.
Depicted to your right is an image of my muscular mitotic maniac who, for this post, I will refer to as Mario. Mario is our 20 week old fetal baby boy. He can be seen here building up his pectoralis majors by bench pressing Michelle’s kidneys and toning his quadriceps leg pressing her liver (click to enlarge).
Health signs are all green and we’re good to go for our October estimated delivery. Mario’s official name has still not been determined, but we have a couple of ideas rolling around. The crib has been ordered which means my office, my only private space in the house, is about to be abandoned as I have received my eviction notice from my wife. Gone will be the hum of hard drives and cooling fans, only to be replaced by pastel yellow paint and Curious George paraphernalia. Thanks a lot, Mario
